10年前のドア・ツー・ドアセールスマンから大学留学応募エッセイへの変化| OKWAVE

大学留学応募の際のエッセイについて

お願いします。下記のお題でエッセイを提出します。文法、文章の流れなど添削頂けると涙が出るほど助かります。大学側の題：What sets you apart from other applicants, based on unique educational or life experiences, personal or family circumstances, obstacles overcome and/or achievements? (200 words or less) 私のエッセイ：I filled with spirit than anyone else. I used to work as door to door sales man about 10 years ago. To sale a $3,000 water cleaner, I would often visit more than 100 houses everyday. At that time, Japanese were not only so interested in that device but also they usually drank tap water. In those days, people used to think that purchasing water was ridiculous and say “drink tap water!” Great majority of Japanese was not interested in water. Therefore, I was always turned down and was jeered and yelled by them. Some people scattered salt at me. It means driving away evil sprit. I believed that I could find a customer as long as I do not give in. I became discouraged several times. Nevertheless, I had kept knocking a door hundred of times and then I had encountered a customer. At sales convention, I was awarded a first prize among over 1,000 company members. Through this precious experience, I learned patience and must have been paid off and I understood that if people make efforts desperately, God presents us a miracle. My weakness was turned to strength. This life experience is my treasure. (197 words) よろしくお願いします＜（＿　＿）＞

大学入学の際のエッセイ添削希望

お願いします。以下私のエッセイの文法の誤り、文章の構成などアドバイスを是非よろしくお願いします＜（＿＿）＞大学側：What sets you apart from other applicants, based on unique educational or life experiences, personal or family circumstances, obstacles overcome and/or achievements? (200 words or less) 私のエッセイ：I have a special sales experience than other applicants. I had sold water cleaners as a door to door sales man about 10 years ago. I would have often visit more than 100 houses everyday in order to sell$3,000 water cleaners. I learned how to develop good communication with customers from my own experience. Decade ago, Japanese were not interested in the device since they usually drank tap water. In those days, people had thought that purchasing water was ridiculous. Therefore, I was always turned down. People would have yelled at me and some even scattered salt at me to drive away evil spirits. Since I want to be a success, I had kept knocking on hundred of doors. I realized that it is more important to become a customer’s friend than just a salesman. If friend who would suggest using the device for their friend health. Therefore, I tried becoming their best friend. The Result of patience, effort and ingenuity, I was awarded a first prize among over 1,000 company members at a sales convention. Through this experience, I learned that if people exert maximum effort, God will present miracles. I believe that I put my experience to study. (200 words)

大学留学の際のエッセイ

お願いします。200文字以内でエッセイを書けとの設問で以下のように書きましたがどうしても203文字になってしまいます。同じような内容で200文字以内で収めることは出来ませんでしょうか。また文法の誤りがあれば教えて頂けると助かります大学側：What sets you apart from other applicants, based on unique educational or life experiences, personal or family circumstances, obstacles overcome and/or achievements? (200 words or less) 私が考えた内容：I used to work as door-knocker. I was rejected by people and was yelled me. however, At sales convention, I obtained a first prize. Through this experiment, I learned patient and my efforts must pay off.

留学の際のエッセイ

下記内容でエッセイを書きました、内容などご指摘いただくと助かります。 Describe why you want to attend an institution within the LDS Church Educational System and what value you will add to that institution. (200 words or less) I want to be a spiritually-advanced person and contribute people to be happier. There are several reasons that I choose the institution of church, BYUH. I want to learn from those who have the same sense of value. Additionally, I am fascinated by your motto “ENTER TO LEARN GO FORTH TO SERVE.” I want to serve people as an ultimate work after my graduation. I believe that BYUH is the only school that may teach me how to serve for people. I have only a child. Being able to stay near the temple and have church’s friends would give a good chance to nurture him. But also, strengthen our testimony to God. Nothing is more valuable than it for us. Finally, after graduation I will put my all into environmental job. My wife’s father has own his company and has some products to make an improvement on the green issue. I want to disseminate his products widely across to the world. I will contribute to the world as BYUH alumnus and I am spontaneous therefore, I outspoken to brighten up in class. I would be a crucial person. For these reasons, I want to be matriculated at BYUH.（198）

留学のエッセイ

お願いします。以下の内容でエッセイを書きました。文法の誤りを教えていただけると非常に助かります、よろしくお願いします尚、「200文字以内で」とありますが今222文字あります、最終的に調整したいと考えています Describe why you want to attend an institution within the LDS Church Educational System and what value you will add to that institution. (200 words or less) There are several reasons why I choose BYUH. That's because church’s institution. First of all, I want to learn from those who same sense of value. Second, I made an impression on BYUH’s school characteristic “ENTER TO LEARN GO FORTH TO SERVE.” I want to serve people through after graduate’s work, hope to be of service to someone, and I have received kindness by many people, therefore, I want to return the favor. I believe that BYUH is the only school where teach me how to serve for people. Third, I have an only child. He is my pleasure and my treasure. Being able to stay near the temple and have church’s friend would give him chance to nurture. Nothing is more valuable than this for us. Finally, I am a temporary worker and very unstable work. I would like to snap out from my vicious circle. After graduation I will put my all into environmental job. My wife’s father have own company and he has some idea and products to make an improvement green issue. After I learn business marketing I will take over his company and disseminate his products widely across to the world and help to make change to better place. I want to contribute to the world as BYUH alumnus. For these reasons, I want to matriculate BYUH.

留学の際のエッセイ

お願いします。下記の文章はentrance essayです。 I want to be a spiritually advanced person and contribute to people’s happiness. My motivation to apply BYUH is to learn from those who have the same values as I have. I am fascinated by your motto “ENTER TO LEARN, GO FORTH TO SERVE,” I want to serve people. I believe that BYUH is the best school for me to learn how to serve others. I have a child who is one year old and whose name is ○○. It means God’s messenger. He likes people; with his arms spread, he always begs someone to hold him up, his smile makes people comfortable. He is already offering love to people as God’s messenger. Being able to stay near temples and have church friends gives me a good chance to nurture him. Nothing is more valuable than this for him. Additionally, I am temporary a worker, and my job is unstable. Therefore, I want to remove myself from this situation. Fortunately, my wife’s father owns a company and has some products to improve environmental issues. I want to disseminate his ideas worldwide and contribute to the world as a BYUH alumnus. For these reasons, I want to enroll at BYUH.(199) 知り合いのTESOL関係の方に見てもらったところ1点指摘されました指摘箇所：3段落目のcomfortable 指摘内容：Word choice. This is strange to say. 「彼の笑顔が人々を慰める（癒す）」と言いたいのですが his smile nurses people's soulと言えますでしょうか？ ※以前からエッセイを助けていただいている皆様へこのBYUHのTESOLの方から次のようなアドバイスをもらったため上記のようなエッセイに変えました you may want to add some details to your personal story about your son and wife. Using their names and a few personal details may make this paper more personal because you will sound more like an individual with a real life. This personal touch will attract the readers of your entrance essays.

和訳お願いします

和訳お願いします。部分、部分はわかるんですが文になるとうまく日本語に直せなくて… As I traveled from one country to another, I got accustomed to communicating primarily through gestures. I imagined that I could read minds and send telepathic messages. I focused on facial expressions and eye contact. There were many times when I wanted to know what people were actually saying; however, I also often sensed that I was at a distinct advantage, not knowing. Ambiguity felt liberating. I didn't have to conform as much to expectations or behavior that I might consider restrictive. I could move in and out of culturally imposed roles more freely.

エッセイのわからない部分を教えてください

ある作家のエッセイで、以下の部分がよくわかりませんでした。ご教授ください。１．以下の文章の"for that matter have known since, "の部分がわかりませんでした。どういう意味でしょうか。 My attention veered inexorably back to the specific, to the tangible, to what was generally considered, by everyone I knew then and for that matter have known since, the peripheral. 2.以下は文の構造も訳もよくわかりません。訳を教えてください。（areの主語はどれですか？) By which I mean not a "good" writer or a "bad" writer but simply a writer, a person whose most absorbed and passionate hourse are spent arranging words on pieces of paper. 3.上の文章のすぐあとに以下が続いています。Hadから始まっているこの文章はどう訳せばいいんでしょうか？ Had my credentials been in order I would never have become a writer. Had I been blessed with even limited access to my own mind there would have been no reason to write. 全文は http://www.idiom.com/~rick/html/why_i_write.htm です。よろしくお願いします！

英語堪能な方、英文を日本語に翻訳お願いします

英語堪能な方にお願いします。m(_ _)m 大変長文で申し訳ありませんが、以下の英語を日本語に翻訳を、どうぞ宜しくお願いします。m(_ _)m ↓ Then I see beautiful marie I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know any Japanese so Gohlam said to me I will invite her over to our table to have a drink with us ans she accepted and he translated for me and that how I met my first Japanese girlfriend. No we were not alone there was many many people there as well it was just a place where people met and had drinks and food. Well I want say it was love at first sight. I was attached to her , she had long beautiful hair a slender body a kind face and eyes, it was like a dream come true to met such a beautiful Japanese lady and I didn't know much Japanese

英文の日本語訳お願いします！

Basic survival demanded that the hands were almost never still, and so it was only during sleep (and sometimes not even then) that people were not saying something or other. No distinction was made between the gestures of language and the gestures of life. The labor of building a house, say, or preparing a meal was no less an expression than making the sign for I love you or I feel serious. When a hand was used to shield one’s face when frightened by a loud noise something was being said, and when fingers were used to pick up what someone else had dropped something was being said; and even when the hands were at rest, that, too, was saying something. おねがいします。

構文がわかりません

The culture of Edo Japan differed completely from the cultures of mass production and waste typical of modern civilization. The city of Tokyo, then known as Edo, was superior in many ways to London or Paris at that time. One historian has examined the example of water systems, 《nothing that in the mid-eighteenth century》, while Londoners had water supplied to their homes only seven hours a day, three days a week, fresh water available at all times in Edo. という文なのですが、《》のところが、文法的に構文的にどういうことなのかよくわかりません。分かりやすくおしえてください。

日本語訳をお願いいたします。

Success on the Somme came at a cost which at times seemed to surpass the cost of failure, and for the Australians, Pozières was such a case. As a consequence of being the sole British gain on 23 July, Pozières became a focus of attention for the Germans. Forming as it did a critical element of their defensive system, the German command ordered that it be retaken at all costs. Three attempts were made on 23 July but each was broken up by the British artillery or swept away by machine gun fire. Communication was as difficult for the Germans as it was for the British, and it was not until 7:00 a.m. 24 July that they discovered that Pozières had been captured.

英文添削おねがいします。

自分が今の仕事を選んだ理由を英文で書きました。添削よろしくお願いします。 I was working as a guide helper when I was a university student. I chose the work related with the person with autisms because of that. I was mental disabilities person's guide helper. However, there were person with autisms in that, too. I had gone out to various places with them on the weekend. But there were a lot of people who have taken a turn in the park during a day. And some people went to the same place every time. When I went out with the person, who lives in group home, She said "I don’t know why I am here, and I want to go home.” And she cried. At that time, I was working as a part-time job. Therefore, I did not neatly know their detailed situations. But I doubted that "Is their life good as today?" in many times. Of course, there were a lot of happiness and goodness, too. However, doubted things very strongly impression in me. So I thought that I want to help the individuals diagnosed with autism to be able to spend the full life happier than now. Therefore, I have chosen the current job that was able to be more deeply related with the person with autism.

英語のメール、、、

スイマセン、ペンパルからメールを貰ったんですが、ちょっと意味のわからない事かいてあるんです・・・なぜ自分は日本の女性に興味があるのかという理由を書いてくれたのですが、意味がわかりません。わかる方お願いします。 She was so Beautiful that I did not want to shut my eyes until the scene was over. After the movie I went to sleep. Suddenly I saw the same girl in my dream. Except she was in a white dress and jade rose petals fell this time. (I wish I finished that dream) Suddenly I woke up. I was late for shcool. TO make it worse it was raining the next day. As I got to school I noticed that many people were wearing rain coats. But the strange part was this: Every one had a hoody and umbrella. As they took them down I noticed that almost all of them were"JAPANESE"! I　had been in that school for almost a year and I had never noticed I had Japanese fellow students. It was so surprising that I could not close my mouth! I wanted to talk to them but I did not know what to say. I could not speak. I did not want to sound stupid.　But now that I have met you I know exactly what to say. It was something I could never say because I was so much in love with the beauty they have, that I was stunned. SO Now I have met you I will say what I could not say then........."HELLO"!

日本語訳をお願いします 2

お願いします!! 続き Carved stone seals were common in the ancient world.Merchants and government officials stamped them into soft clay instead of writing a signature.The seals were usually decorated with pictures of animals and sometimes a few signs or symbols.Cunningham's seal had an animal and some lines that could have been letters.Except that the creature on his seal was not the usual bull or tiger,but something that looked like a one-horned bull－a unicorn.And if the lines were the letters or symbols of a language,it was not a script anyone had ever seen before. Alexander Cunningham spent the rest of his life thinking that his dig at Harappa in the Punjab had been a failure.He never realized that the seal he had found was a key to an unknown civilization,a civilization that no one ever suspected had existed.Before the seal was found at Harappa,archaeologists had believed that the oldest cities in India and Pakistan dated from about 700 BCE.They were wrong.The crumbling bricks that the engineers had used to raise the railroad out of the mud were 5,000 years old.They were what was left of an ancient civilization as large and well organized as those of Egypt and Mesopotamia.Historians call it the Indus civilization. The Indus civilization peaked with 1,500 settlements and serveral large cities,some with populations of up to 80,000 people.Its artisans were among the most skilled in the world,and its people traded with Mesopotamia and Central Asia.But in some ways,it was an easy civilization to overlook.Its people didn't build great pyramids or fancy tombs,as the Egyptians did.They didn't fight great battles and leave a great written legacy,like the Mesopotamians.

数学の思い出

claimとthe net resultの訳語と◎から◎までの和訳お願いします。 It seemed clear that mathematics had a better claim to be considered knowledge than anything else; therefore it was to the principles of mathematics that I addressed myself. At thirty-eight I felt that I had done all that it lay in my power to do in this field, although I was far from having arrived at any absolute certainty. Indeed, the net result of my work was to throw doubts upon arithmetic which had never been thrown before.◎I was and am persuaded that the method I pursued brings one nearer to knowledge than any other that is available,◎but the knowledge it brings is only probable, and not so precise as it appears to be at first sight. 　* Bertrand Russell, What I Believe

英語を訳してください！

I spent Saturday night in a small hotel not many miles distant from Oxford. It was a peaceful little hotel that fell quietly asleep in the darkness as soon as the voices of the last birds and the last beer-drinkers had faded into silence. Weary as a result of unaccustomed exposure to the air, I fell under the soporific influence of the place, went early to bed, and was asleep before midnight. Suddenly between twelve and one, I was awakened by a crash. The house shook as though a football team were tumbling over the furniture in the room below. A gramophone began to whine rhythmically about love. Whether it was dancing or fighting that was going on to the music I did not know, but whatever it was, the violence was such that I was surprised that the house did not come falling about my ears. 上の文章を日本語に訳していただきたいです。特に最後の一文が分かりにくいので、面倒でしたらそこだけ訳してくださっても構いません。よろしくお願いします。

長文ですがどなたか翻訳をお願いします。

翻訳できる方がいらっしゃいましたらよろしくお願いします。 The school he went to was dictatorial and wealthy. It was an elaborate artistic building. Possibly one that was founded by a Princess or named after a Princess and bore her image, or arms, or monument and dedication in the building. It was not a school that will appear in the annals of history though, or ever be famous, nothing special. But it was well thought of in the local community and a school to aspire towards there. So I suppose you could say he had a good schooling in that respect. A school that may have had a traditional outlook. In his schooldays he gained physical health and strength. Though his in his early years he was not so strong. As a pupil he has a good memory, but was introspective, and held himself back not always doing the best he could have done in his lessons. His family would have helped him as much as they could at school, and to get a good education. but he may later have forgotten the help he owes to them. He would have had musical or singing ability; good at history, gambling. politics, figures and sports. Town planning and technical drawing. Once he adapted to the school he got well with the other children and way of life. At school he was an achiever, who adapted to change, and began to find a little of his adult charisma and ability to succeed, so was bound eventually to get on at whatever he chose to do. He also became proficient there in making excuses and telling lies to extricate himself from difficult or punishing situations.

訳を教えてください

以下の文章の最後の一文がよくわりません。ご教授ください。 However, up until the moment that those keys were turned over, I was still searching for something that had greater value to me than anything I had ever imagined as a child, and that I knew for certain was in that house at one time. https://medium.com/@bclund/the-most-valuable-fake-id-in-the-world-ddb7a9120c5 これのand that I knew for certain was in that house at one time.の部分です。よろしくお願いします。

大学受験対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削よろしくお願いします。

大学受験対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削よろしくお願いします。テーマは「あなたが大事にしているもの」についてです。 I cherish a bag which is a black and expensive one. I found it three years ago,but I had no money to buy it,so I spared money in order to get it. Two weeks after that,I finally bought it and was delighted at it. It has been so tough that it is like a new one now. I wish to have it as long as possicle. では、よろしくお願いします。

10年前のドア・ツー・ドアセールスマンから大学留学応募エッセイへの変化

大学留学応募のエッセイ

質問者が選んだベストアンサー

お礼 2009/07/24 07:18

関連するQ&A

大学留学応募の際のエッセイについて

大学入学の際のエッセイ添削希望

大学留学の際のエッセイ

留学の際のエッセイ

留学のエッセイ

留学の際のエッセイ

和訳お願いします

エッセイのわからない部分を教えてください

英語堪能な方、英文を日本語に翻訳お願いします

英文の日本語訳お願いします！

構文がわかりません

日本語訳をお願いいたします。

英文添削おねがいします。

英語のメール、、、

日本語訳をお願いします 2

数学の思い出

英語を訳してください！

長文ですがどなたか翻訳をお願いします。

訳を教えてください

大学受験対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削よろしくお願いします。

注目のQ&A

カテゴリ

あなたにピッタリな商品が見つかる！ OKWAVE セレクト

専門家に質問してみよう