添削してください

質問

そして運動プログラムの構成要素（components of an exercise program）には次のようなものがあります。
Aerobic Fitness, Muscular Fitness, Flexibility, Neuromotor exrcise training　です。
米国などの先進国における主要な死因原因の一つにCardiovascular Diseaseがある。
それにはが含まれており、現在もなお多くの人がこれが原因で亡くなっている。
そして、Hypertension（高血圧）はCardiovascular Diseaseの中で最も一般的な症状である。
多くの子供達も高血圧を抱えているが、これは年齢とともに有病率が増加する。
Excess Consumption of Sodium Chloride（塩化ナトリウムの過剰摂取）がこれの主な原因である。
CVDに要因には年齢や性別、遺伝子なども含まれるが、それ以外にもSmoking tobacco, High cholesterol, High blood pressure, Physical inactivity, Overweight/obesity, Diabetesなどがある。

英語⇨
The components of an exercise program has following benefits; aerobic fitness, muscular fitness, flexibility, neuromotor exercise training.
Cardiovascular Disease is one of the major cause of death in developed countries such as the United States.
It included angina pectoris, congestive heart failure, stroke, and a lot of people are still dead due to this.
Hypertension is the most common symptom in Cardiovascular Disease.
Many children also has this, but it's prevalence increased with age.
Excess consumption of sodium chloride is major cause of this.
Factors of CVD include age, sex and gene, but it has smoking tobacco, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, physical inactivity, overweight, diabetes, too.

日本語文に英語がかなり混ざっていますが、こちらをもとに英文を作りました。
上の英文を添削して欲しいです。

よろしくお願いします。

回答No.1

cbm51901 · ベストアンサー

The components of an exercise program include the following: aerobic fitness, muscular fitness, flexibility, and neuromotor exercise training.
Cardiovascular Disease is one of the major causes of death in developed countries such as the United States.
It includes angina pectoris, congestive heart failure, and stroke, and a lot of people are still dying from these causes.
Hypertension is the most common symptom in Cardiovascular Disease.
Many children suffer from hypertension as well, and its prevalence increases with age.
Excess consumption of sodium chloride is a major cause of this.
Factors affecting CVD include age, sex, and gene, but it is also influenced by aspects such as smoking tobacco, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, physical inactivity, overweight, and diabetes.

お礼

前回に引き続き、添削ありがとうございます。
いつも勉強になっています。
ありがとうございました。