essayの文法添削希望

質問

お願いします
「最近の出来事についてあなたの意見を新聞社に寄稿する手紙を書いてください（100文字以内）」というお題でエッセイがあります。以下のように書きました（「殺人事件」は架空の話です）文法添削いただけると助かります

I read your article about deadly crime in Tokyo, the article gave us the details even how to murder. I believe that you shouldn’t have given us detail information such as how to kill, thus, I object on ground that some people might try the method. For example a person mixed some household items to make noxious fume, he inhaled it and dead. Many media covered the suicide not for happening but for how to make it. Later, many people have committed suicide using toxic gas. Therefore, Media might want to pull in your horns to give such information. （99文字）

回答No.1

ridankrad · ベストアンサー

I read your article about deadly crime in Tokyo. The article gave details even on how to commit murder. You should not have given such detailed information on how to kill, because some people may try using the methods. For example, a person mixed some household items to make noxious fumes, inhaled them, and then died. The media did not focus on the suicide itself, but instead on how the noxious fumes had been made. Later, other people committed suicide using the same methods. Therefore, the media should use discretion in giving out such information.

お礼

ご回答いただきありがとうございました、大変勉強になりました。また是非宜しくお願いします

回答No.3

mabomk

文法的には大変結構だと、一方相手が新聞社なら相手の事情も分かりつつ問題点を提起するようにした方が読んで貰える可能性が高まる投書文になるのかと、、、、、勿論これはエッセイ文としてですが。 尚最後の「Media might want to pull in your horns to give such information」の意味が取れませんでしたので,補足願えればと、、、、参考にして下さい。

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I know mass media especially newspaper is obliged to report
even deadly crimes in detail. However, in my opinion you
should not write them to excess as it might induce some
people to copy and try the same way. In fact, newspapers
covered a suicide case that a person killed himself by noxious
fume self-made from ordinary household goods. The same
or similar suicides followed later. It is quite difficult how to put
a limit on the crime reporting, but all what I want you is to
write more carefully not to make any crime copy cat.
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97 words

お礼

ご回答いただきありがとうございました、大変勉強になりました。また是非宜しくお願いします

回答No.2

noname#202629

I read your article about the deadly crime in Tokyo, it gave us even the details on how to murder. I believe such information shouldn’t have been given to the public as many people might try to use the same methods. What would it be like if household items turned out to be noxious fumes so easily; wouldn’t it be ready to die for suicide-wannabes? If media do not cover suicide as happening but deal with how to make it, the suicide rate will increase sharply. Therefore, the media should refrain from taking up such articles.

お礼

ご回答いただきありがとうございました、大変勉強になりました。また是非宜しくお願いします