☆★環境問題に関する自由英作文★☆
いつもありがとうございます。
環境問題に関する自由英作文を書いたので、添削よろしくお願いいたします。
問題は種々の大学の過去問を参考に自作しましたので、
問題文自体の英語が拙いかもしれませんが、
そこも含めて、ご指摘いただけると、ありがたく存じます。
[Question]
Describe what environmental problem you are the most interested in and explain the challenge to address, and the solutions. Write your essay in four paragraphs.
[Answer]
One of the environmental problems I am the most interested in is the international arrangements such as the Framework Convention on Climate Change. More than ten years ago, the third Conference of the Parties, what you call COP3, was held in Kyoto, where the Kyoto Protocol was adopted. About five years ago, this protocol went into force without the agreement of the United States, which eliminated the second most CO2 in 2009, followed by China. In addition, developing countries including China and India are not forced to decrease emissions. For these two reasons, many environmental specialists wonder if this treaty is effective for the environmental problem. Because of this matter, actually, Australia did not join it at the beginning. (This country joined now.)
It seems strange to me that the countries, the GDPs of which occupy the first and second places, are not obligated to decrease greenhouse gas such as CO2. To solve this problem, I think that the Japan's government should lead the green innovation field all over the world. In fact, the government regards green innovation as one of a few available strategies for economic growth. It is often said that environmental technologies of Japan is leading. In my opinion, the government should promote these technologies and help export them. Because China's government says that the country cannot help emitting CO2 to develop, all Japan can do is to give China the same development as that done by emitting extraordinarily much CO2. By importing the technologies, China could develop without emitting so much. Japan's government should show the advantages to that of China; for example, China would improve the international trust, which is the probably most serious problem China faces now.
To promotes these green innovation, Japan's government need to secure a considerable financial source. As you know, the government is facing a budget deficit; according to OECD, the budget deficit in relation to GDP of Japan is internationally much and the balance of Japan's debt in 2010 is by far the heaviest. This is why it is very difficult to secure the resource for promoting the green technologies. Because this field is surely expected to improve, however, the government would not love anything. Moreover, it would help the government solve another problem of unemployment. (376 words)
*辞書代わりにALCを利用しました。(http://www.alc.co.jp/)
*indentできないので、一行挿入しました。
お礼
回答ありがとうございます。 こういう言い方もあるんだなって参考になりました。 asの使い方が、今いちしっくり来なかったので、教えていただいて助かりました＾＾