Please check this! No.1

質問

I'd like to show you the pictures as promised.
The first picture with a koala was taken at DREAMWORLD in Gold Coast.
I heard koalas ate only some sorts of many of eucalyptus trees.
And the second one with a kangaroo was taken at the same place.
There my mother and I held a koala and feed some kangaroos.
When I held a koala, it (maybe she) attached a small poop to me.
The third one is taken at Morton Island.
It is the largest of islands which is formed from sand.
There we can feed wild dolphins.
It was at the Opera House that the forth one is taken.
Do you think that its surface is slick? It is incorrect.
In fact lines are traced out on it. Can you guess why?
It is because the surface which gets sunshine makes eyes of seamen bad.
I suspect, however, that it has meaning.
And at the fifth, the Barbor Bridge comes out.
It is said that the bridge connect the city of Sydney and their bedroom suburbs.

文法的に間違っている所、指摘お願いします。

回答No.2

blue_watermelon · ベストアンサー

こんにちは。
単純な文法的ミス、不自然（日本語的すぎる）な表現はありますが、意味は一通り分かります。
友達宛のメールであればこれくらいでOKだと思いますよ。完璧さにこだわると毎回誰かに添削してもらわないといけなくなって、手紙を書くのに時間もかかるし、ストレスになると思います。むしろ相手の方にあなたの現在の英語力を知ってもらう上でも、できるだけ添削なしで送った方がよいと思います。向こうの方も、あなたの英語力が少しづつ伸びて行くのを見るのは楽しいと思いますし。

で、それをふまえて以下、enna2005さんへのつけ加えです。
I heard koalas ate only some sorts of many of eucalyptus trees.
"some sorts of"と"many of"が繋がっていて混乱します。
→I heard that koala eats only some sorts of eucalyptus tree.とどちらか一つにするか、もしくは、"I heard that koala eats a lot of（量なのでmanyではなくa lot of）certain types of eucalyptus tree.""I heard that koala eats only some sorts of eucalyptus tree (but a lot of them)."みたいにしてみると良いかと。

"It is the largest of islands which is formed from sand."
→It is the largest island (in the area)...

"Do you think that its surface is slick? It is incorrect.
In fact lines are traced out on it. Can you guess why?
It is because the surface which gets sunshine makes eyes of seamen bad.
I suspect, however, that it has meaning."
この部分が少し何を伝えようとしているのか分かりにくいですが、
slick→smooth（なめらか）の方が一般的です。
lines are traced out→there are many lines on the roof（屋根にはたくさん線がひいてある？）
"the surface which gets sunshine makes eyes of seamen bad."→reflection of the sun hurts the eyes（太陽の反射が目を痛める）
"suspect, however, that it has meaning."→これは私もなぜここに挿入されているのかよく分かりません。

"It is said that the bridge connect the city of Sydney and their bedroom suburbs."
"bedroom suburbs"→「ベッドタウン」の直訳だと思いますが、英語の場合は"suburb"のみでOKです。

アドバイスとしては、
日本語で考えた文章を直訳すると"be+過去分詞"の形が多くなりがちなんですが、これを、主語を工夫したり動詞を工夫することで、できるだけストレートな表現に持って行くと良いと思います。その方が英語的で分かりやすい文章になるでしょう。

回答No.3

lark3rd

明白な文法ミスについては、No.1さんとNo.2さんのご指摘で全てかと思います。
単語選択という点で、重箱の隅をつつかせてもらうなら・・・
in Gold Coastのinと、at Morton Islandのatは、私ならonにしてしまいそうです。inやatが絶対間違いと言い切る自信はないですが。
some sorts of many of eucalyptusは、particular kinds of eucalyptusがいいかと。
It is the largest of islands・・・のところは、It is the largest sand island in the world.(実際は世界で２番目らしいですけど）
I suspect, however, that it has meaning.はひょっとして「私も何か理由があるとは思っていたんだけどね」てな意味ですか？であれば
I myself believed there should be a reason for it, and it is the reason.ぐらいですかねぇ。
あるいは「理由はそれだけじゃないはずだ」というなら、I do not believe it is the (one and) only reason.というのはどうでしょう。

回答No.1

enna2005

さーっと見た上でのシンプルなミスだけですが。
I heard koalas ate only some sorts～
ここのateは今も変わらぬ事実なので現在形のeatで。
There my mother and I held a koala and feed some kangaroos.ここのfeedは過去形にしてfed。
When I held a koala, it (maybe she) attached a small poop to me.
＝whenをwhile に変えて、あとはit did a small poop
on me.
It is because the surface which gets sunshine makes eyes of seamen bad.
＝It's because when the surface gets sunshine,
it ( the reflection ) blurs the view of the sailors.
I suspect, however, that it has meaning
＝これはちょっと意味がわかりません。