留学志望の添削をお願いします！！

質問

現在大学生です。カナダへの留学を希望しており、留学志望書を書いているのですが・・・

I have three objects for this studying abroad program. First, it is to get ability which can handle correct business English and can use daily conversation. I want to work all over the world in the future, and globalization apread at a high speed. After a few years, we will not work enough without English. In addition to, communication is very important not only daily life but also work. So, I think that I have to get on these abilities. Second, it is to learn Canadian culture and Christianity. The religion affects the country culture and daily life in many foreign countries. It is a part of difference points from Japan. I feel difference about the religion from my experience through studying abroad and want to apply at work or life in the future. Finally, it is to make a lot of friends. I have only Japanese friends. Most people have the same sense of values as Japanese, so I hardly find a brand new attitude over the nation. If I make a lot of friends without nationality, Iwoll be able to get 800 TOEIC score. This goal is very difficult for me. But it is not impossible and I have a confidence that I achieve this goal, becaouse I can effort than average person and my character is never-give-up attitude. When I enrolled at a university, my TOEIC score is 365. However I wanted to take part in this studying abroad program. I could not get qualification be ｓecond grade, but I can participate in this studying abroad in fact. I have never gone to study abroad like other people, so I will be able to grow up than other participations. At any rate, I am the most enthusiasm student for this studying abroad program. This is my participation reason for this program.

回答No.1

marbleshit

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