至急、英訳のチェックをお願いします！

質問

東京について、作文を書き、英訳してみました。
不安なので、直すところがあれば、ぜひ、教えていただきたいです！
また、簡単な表現に直せるときは、直していただけるとうれしいです！
ご協力お願いします！
下に、日本語訳もつけてます。

Japanese capital is in Tokyo.
Have you ever been to Tokyo ?
In Tokyo, there are various tourist spots.
I want to introduce some tourist spots to you today.

It is one Tokyo Tower of the most famous sightseeing spot in the beginning.
Tokyo Tower was famous as the highest building in Japan in 333-meter height.
However, it is pulled out on March 29, 2010, and is still second famous in the Tokyo sky tree at the planned completion date as a high tower in 2012 in Japan.

Next, it is Akihabara.
Akihabara is a popular sightseeing spot in the place where the electric appliances store and the animated cartoon shop gather among a lot of animated cartoon Otaku and foreigner.

Finally, it is Shibuya and Omotesando in the place of dispatch of the young person's fashion.
Neither a lot of brand shops nor the fashion shops become, it exists here, and it crowds with a shopper everyday.

In Tokyo, other various sightseeing spots are.
Everybody also must find the sightseeing place that I like in Tokyo.

日本の首都は東京にあります。
みなさんは東京に行ってことがありますか？
東京には、さまざまな観光名所があります。
私は、今日みなさんにいくつかの観光名所を紹介したいと思います。

初めに、最も有名な観光地のひとつの東京タワーです。
東京タワーは、高さ３３３メートルで日本で最も高い建造物として有名でした。
しかし、2012年に完成予定の東京スカイツリーに2010年3月29日に抜かれ、今でも日本で二番目に高いタワーとして有名です。

次に、秋葉原です。
秋葉原は、電気屋とアニメショップが集う場所で、たくさんのアニメオタクや外国人に人気の観光スポットです。

最後に、若者の流行の発信地の渋谷と表参道です。
ここには、たくさんのブランド店や、ファッション店がならんでいて、毎日たくさんの買い物客でにぎわいます。

東京には、他にもさまざまな観光スポットがあります。
みなさんも、東京で自分が気に入る観光場所を見つけてみてください！

回答No.1

ppp12

Japan's capital city is Tokyo.
In Tokyo, there are various tourist spots.
Have you ever been to Tokyo?
I want to introduce some tourist spots to you today.
To begin with, I would like to talk about Tokyo Tower which is one of the city's most famous sights.
Tokyo Tower used to be famous as the highest Tower in Japan, with a height of 333 meters. However, on March 29th 2010, it was knocked into second place by Tokyo Sky Tree which is due for completion in 2012. Tokyo tower is still famous as the second highest tower in Japan.
The next (spot I recommend you to visit) is Akihabara.
In Akihabara, there are many electrical goods shops and anime shops crowded together. It is a popular area among many ''Anime Otaku'' and people from overseas.
Lastly, a place where youth fashion and trends are born, Shibuya and Omotesando.
You can see a number of brand shops and fashion boutiques on the streets here. It is always bustling with crowds of shoppers.
There are many other interesting places to visit in Tokyo.
You can wander around the city and find your own favourite spots!

ご要望そえてないかもしれませんが
参考にしてください。。。