ビジネス英語メールの添削をどうかお願いいたします

質問

なかなか伝わる文章が書けずに困っております。
わかりやすく、かつ失礼のない文章にしたいと思っておりまして、
どなたか私の稚拙な英文を添削いただけますでしょうか。

どうぞよろしくお願いいたします。

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こちらは、山田教授の秘書の田中です。
トム教授が東京滞在中の宿舎についてご参考までにお知らせいたします。

現段階では、２つ候補がございます。

一つ目は、トム教授が考慮されていたABCアパートです。
現在空き部屋が１つでております。
しかし、入居条件が6月18日からのため、7月4日に入居の場合は、6月25日から7月3日まで予約期間として一日2,290円の料金が発生します。
よって、予約期間分の料金も含めて、宿泊費は合計84,700円です。

二つめは、我々の大学から徒歩約15分の青葉アパートです。
7月4日から7月30日までの期間の宿泊費は10,7000円です。
家具や家電製品はすべて揃っており、インターネットも利用可能です。

他に何かご希望やご要望がありましたら、ご遠慮なくおっしゃってください。

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件名：For your information(accommodation)

This is Tanaka of (fromでしょうか？) Prf. Yamada’s secretary
For your information, I would like to inform you about accommodation during your stay in Tokyo.

At this moment, we have two choices.

One is ABC apartment which you have been considered has an empty room.
Due to their Terms and Conditions date is from June 18th, it costs 2,990yen per day June 25th to July 30th if you would like to stay since July 4th.
Thus, the whole cost including booking period is 84,700yen.

Second is Aoba-apartment which takes 15 minutes from our university.
The fee is 10,7000yen form 4th July to 30th July.
There have some furniture, appliances and you can available to use the internet.

If you have another request and need assistance, please do not hesitate to ask me.

Best regards,
Tanaka

回答No.1

slippery

はい！

ｖｖｖ

件名：For your information(accommodation)

This is Tanaka, Prf. Yamada’s secretary.
I would like to inform you regarding your accommodation during your stay in Tokyo.

At this moment, we have two choices.

One is ABC apartment which you have been considering, which has an empty room.
However, according to their Terms and Conditions, the move-in date is June 18th. Therefore, if you would like to stay from July 4th on, it will cost 2,990yen per day from June 25th to July 30th.
Thus, the total cost including booking period is 84,700yen.

Second is Aoba-apartment, which is located a 15 minute walk from our university.
The fee is 10,7000yen from July 4th to July 30th.
Furniture and appliances are included, and internet access is available.

If you have any other requests or need assistance, please do not hesitate to ask me.

Best regards,
Tanaka