(日本詩の英訳)どちらがより英詩らしいですか?
「君死にたまふことなかれ」冒頭の英訳です。
どちらもちゃんとした人が訳しているようです。
明らかすぎますか?
ああ、弟よ、君を泣く、
君死にたまふことなかれ。
末に生れし君なれば
親のなさけは勝(まさ)りしも、
親は刄(やいば)をにぎらせて
人を殺せと教へしや、
人を殺して死ねよとて
廿四までを育てしや。
(1)
Ah, my brother, I weep for you.
Beloved, you must not die.
You, the last born,
and so most cherished —
did our parents teach you to grasp a sword,
to kill another man?
Did they bring you up to twenty-four
to murder, and then die?
(2)
Oh, my (younger) brother, how loudly I am wailing for you;
Let me ask you imploringly not to throw away your life.
You have won our parents' affection
more than any other siblings,
since you were born last.
Have you ever been told, however,
to kill others with your blade
and to fight to the last,
by our parents
in their care-taking and education of you
throughout your life
for the past twenty-four years.
お礼
なるほど… Did your plan to give your parents a pleasant surprise come off well? がいいですね♪ 自分の気持ちを英語で表現するってなかなか大変ですね。 ありがとうございます!