take one's cues
Dear Prudence,
My husband and I made friends with another couple, “Katie” and “Steven,” last year. We have kids around the same age, and we get together a few times a month for backyard dinners and drinks. Recently, I remarked to Katie how much her children resemble her, and she replied that she hears that all the time. I jokingly asked how Steven feels about that, and she said: “Well, Steven’s trans. Didn’t you know?”
I didn’t know. It hadn’t occurred to me. I was so surprised that my reaction was something along the lines of, “Oh. Cool!” And then the conversation naturally shifted course. I’m concerned that maybe I underreacted. Gender identity is important, and I can’t begin to imagine what Steven went through before and during his transition. My husband and I consider ourselves to be LGBTQ allies, and I want Steven to feel comfortable and supported in our home. We’ve seen them a few times since and nothing seems weird or awkward, so maybe I’m just overthinking this. But could or should I have responded differently? It didn’t feel like a coming-out conversation, more like a casual disclosure of information. Still, I’m worried that I said the wrong thing, and I’d love your perspective.
—Underreactionary?
You took your cue from Katie, who made it clear that this is information she (and presumably Steven) are comfortable with you knowing but that didn’t require a serious, involved follow-up conversation, and your response in that context was wholly appropriate. You’re likely right in assuming that Steven has gone through a great deal before and after transitioning, but that doesn’t mean he wants to go into detail about it with even the friendliest of neighbors. Steven and Katie already do feel comfortable and supported in your home, and there’s nothing you need to do here except continue to be friendly and welcoming and to take your neighbors’ cues on the subject of his transition.
２回take one's cuesという表現が出てきますが、それぞれどのような意味でしょうか？よろしくお願いします
お礼
ご回答ありがとうございます