添削をおねがいします。
英語で「日本の地域社会を紹介する」というエッセイの課題があるのですが、
いまいち文構造とかが分からず、勉強しているのですが一度書いてみたので添削をお願いできないでしょうか？
不適切な部分や、違う表現にした方がベターだったりする場所を指摘していただけたら嬉しいです。
Hokkaido is like a jewellery box of nature. There are a lot of spots where you can enjoy wonderful nature in Hokkaido. For example, sea, mountains, hot springs, marshlands and lakes.
First, Shiretoko is one of the most famous and popular spot because it is a World natural heritage. In winter you can see drift ice from the north of Shiretoko peninsula to Wakkanai. Kushiro Shitsugen National Park is popular place, too. This place is registered in Ramsar Convention. Also in Kussharo Lake, we can see many swans and approach them.
Secondly, there are many natures of foods. For example, crabs, sea urchins, potatoes, and soybean. Especially sea food of Hokkaido is so wonderful. There are a lot of kinds of sea food in Hokkaido. The most famous sea food is Taraba crab. Moreover Potatoes in Hokkaido are very good so they are used by many confectionery companies making Potato chips.
Finally, in Hokkaido there are animal which we cannot meet except there. In Bakkai we can see seals. Going Horonobe, we can see reindeers in Horonobe stock farm. If you want to see these animals at once, you go Asahiyama zoo.
Thus Hokkaido is really a jewellery box of nature.
(※多分小さなミスが多いと思いますがご指摘していただけたら助かります。)
よろしくお願いします。
お礼
Today's Doushin (a local Hokkaido news paper) says that Mt. Asahidake is the best view in last 10 years. シンプルですけど、これですね。ありがとうございます。
補足
なるほどー。シンプルですね！！！ ありがとうございます。