英語日記２５ 優しさ

質問

すいませんが最近英語力のライティングをあげようと英作文をまいにち書くようにしてます。
レベルのひくい英作文ではずかしいのですが。できれば文法や細かい間違いを指摘して頂けると光栄です。

I can act by considering person's feelings. I mean that if someone has troubles I want to help them.
for example, if he/she is always alone and looks lonely. I would want to talk to him/her. This is because I can understand his/her feelings. They want to talk to someone but he/she was doesn’t have the courage talk with people who has met first time. Actually, I couldn’t talk to classmate when I was a junior high school student i, so I was always alone. However, I thought that I had to change my personality.
This is because I probably would be involved in many troubles if I would grow up with a morose type. I know changing of own character is difficult but I am really happy if I can help you.

私は人の気持ちを考えて行動できます。たとえばもし誰かが一人でいてさびしいそうにみえたら。私はその人としゃべりたい。なぜなら私はその人の気持ちがわかります。彼らはだれかとしゃべりたいのですが初めて会った人としゃべる勇気がないのです。実際私も中学時代はクラスメートとあまり喋れませんでした。なので、いつも一人でいました。しかし自分自身を変えなければならないと思いました。多分わつぃはたくさんのトラブルに会いますもしこのまま暗いままで育つと。自分自身を変えるには大変だということは知ってます。しかし助けになるならうれしいです。

回答No.1

cbm51910 · ベストアンサー

I can act by considering person's feelings.
→ ＯＫです。

I mean that if someone has troubles I want to help them.
→ ＯＫです。

for example, if he/she is always alone and looks lonely. I would want to talk to him/her.
→ for × For ○
→ lonely. × lonely, ○

This is because I can understand his/her feelings.
→ ＯＫです。

They want to talk to someone but he/she was doesn’t have the courage talk with people who has met first time.
[They want to talk to someone but he/she doesn't have the courage "TO" talk with people "WHOM HE/SHE" has met "FOR THE" first time]

Actually, I couldn’t talk to classmate when I was a junior high school student i, so I was always alone.
→ Student の後に意味不明の "i" が入っている他はＯＫです。

However, I thought that I had to change my personality.
→ ＯＫです。

This is because I probably would be involved in many troubles if I would grow up with a morose type.
[This is because I thought I probably would be involved in many troubles if I grew up as a morose person.]

I know changing of own character is difficult but I am really happy if I can help you.
[I know that changing one's own character is difficult but I would be really happy if I could help you.]

まだ二、三、凡ミスがありますが、全体の文章を見るとこれまでと違って非常にシャキッとした印象を受けます。Punctuation とか 大文字・小文字の使い分けに気を使うだけでも、随分と印象が良くなります。
内容も大体において問題はありませんでした。和訳もついて、気合いが入っていますね。
この努力がどんどん実っていくことを願っています。

お礼

ありがとうございます。できればつぎの英語日記２６もおねがいできないでしょうか？？
いつも参考にしてます。今度アメリカで奨学金を応募するつもりでエッセーで。