Essayの添削をお願いします。
Essayを書きましたので、添削をお願いします。
特に、文の構成などにアドバイスをいただけるとうれしいです。
テーマは「エネルギー問題について」です
Through the Great East Japan Earthquake and the accident of Fukushima NO1 nuclear power plant, public opinions are tending to not to use nuclear power anymore. Thus, the natural power such as, water, wind and solar are attracted by many people gradually. However, the government is not fully agree with abolishing nuclear power.
From my point of view, Japan shouldn't rely on nuclear power anymore. Because of the high energy, nuclear power is too hard to control, and once have a trouble with power plant, it leads to the large amount of people death and illness. What's more, the wastes from nuclear power plant can't throw away everywhere, otherwise those wastes pollute the environment.
On the contrary, opponents say, if the nuclear power plant will be abolished, whole Japan will be lack of energy. Therefore, the capital of Japan, Tokyo have to carry out scheduled blackout like last summer. Because The main system in many ways like government and economy are all in Tokyo, so blackout leads to Japan's confusion.
As far as I am concerned, Japan use too much energy, and you should save them. Everyone's economy is enough to making up the lack of energy. Besides, you can hope Japanese technology of using natural power. Although the large number of technologies are still not in use now, Japanese technician will discover successful way definitely.
お礼
ありがとうございました！理解できました！