大学入試対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削お願いします。

質問

大学入試対策の自由英作文なのですが、添削お願いします。

テーマは「尊敬している人物」についてです。

I respect my mother.

She has taught my little brother,big sister and me what is right or bad,so we made few mistakes.

Three years ago,she divorced our father and had to take care of us by herself.

However she has never complained to us and has worked harder than before.

I owe what I am to her,so I thank her much.

できれば、英文の文法的な面だけでなく、内容的な面についてご指摘頂きたいです。

では、よろしくお願いします。

回答No.1

ping-guo · ベストアンサー

こんにちは、waon122さん

いい文章ですね。　私は少し広げましたがどうでしょうか。

I respect my mother for many things. Mostly, because of what she has taught my little brother, my big sister, and myself. She has taught us what is right and wrong, and the importance of hard work. Due to this, we have made fewer mistakes and benefitted greatly from her wisdom.

Another reason I respect her is because of how she stepped up to take care of us after she divorced our father three years ago. I know it must be difficult, but she persevered, and never gave up hope. Throughout the years, she has never complained to us about how hard her role is, in fact, it seems like she works harder than before. I have learned that when one is faced with adversity, one must work harder to overcome.

I owe what I am today to my mother's example and teachings. I truly respect her as a person.

お礼

解答ありがとうございます。

質問には書かなかったのですが、実は70字前後という字数制限があるんです。

副詞句を使うとうまく理由づけに使えるんですね。

まだまだ文章を書くのが下手なので参考になります。

今後も自由英作文の添削のお願いを投稿していくので、機会があればご指導お願いしたいです。

改めて、ありがとうございました！