英作文の添削をお願いします

質問

彼は手紙の中で私が彼に送った本をすごく楽しんだと言っていた。
The letter that he wrote said that he was very pleasure to read the book that I sent him.

医学の進歩によって、多くの難病の治療が可能になった。
The progress of medicine has enabled many serious illness to be cured.

値段が高くても私はそれをどうしても手にしたい。
Even if the price of the thing is high,I earnestly want to buy it.

毎度助かります

回答No.1

seegrammar · ベストアンサー

１、that が多すぎると思います。
His letter says he was very pleased to read the book I sent.

２、enable の目的語は人のほうが良いでしょう。
The progress of medicine has enabled us to cure many serious illness.

３、of the thing が不明確です。
I really want to get it even though the price is high.

回答No.4

saham3

上から、
He told me in his letter that he enjoyed reading the book I had
sent to him.

Many serious illness have now become curable thanks to the
progress of medicine.

I do want to buy it by all means despite its high price.

ではいかがでしょうか？

回答No.3

kisiuo

彼は手紙の中で私が彼に送った本をすごく楽しんだと言っていた。
His letter told me he had very enjoyed reading the book I had sent.
医学の進歩によって、多くの難病の治療が可能になった。
The progress of medical science　has enabled many intractable
diseases to be cured.

値段が高くても私はそれをどうしても手にしたい。
I don't care about money if I could get it .

回答No.2

seegrammar

（訂正）
illness --> illnesses

あと
彼が手紙の中で言った、という表現は固有名詞（彼の名前）を使うなら
http://www.google.co.jp/search?hl=ja&q=site%3Anytimes.com+%22his+letter+says&lr=
などがあります。