Etiquette for Attending a Wake: Should You Fake Pray?
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When attending a wake, some may wonder if they are obligated to kneel before the casket and say a brief prayer, especially if they no longer subscribe to any religion.
While it may feel disingenuous to fake pray, you can still show respect by briefly acknowledging the sadness of someone's death or thinking about your grieving friend's needs.
If you prefer not to kneel, you can simply stand for a moment of silence. It's important to remember that the grievers may not notice or care either way.
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Q. Wake etiquette: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I’ve recently attended a number of wakes. Am I obligated to kneel before the casket and say a brief prayer? I’d been taught that this was the “polite” thing to do, but it feels disingenuous now that I no longer subscribe to any religion. I’m sure the grievers don’t notice or care either way, but should I continue to fake pray?
A: You can kneel in front of a casket and briefly acknowledge the sadness of someone’s death or think about your grieving friend’s needs—you are not “fake praying,” you are having a genuine moment of reflection. I don’t think you’re doing anything you need to change. If you would prefer not to kneel, you can simply stand for a moment or two of silence, then drop back.
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