英語のエッセイで困っています。
このようなエッセイを大学の課題で作成しました。内容はともかく、文法の間違い、意味が通じない等ございましたら、訂正、指摘お願いいたします。
The fragrance of the trees evokes hometown. I come back hometown once a year.
There are some differences between hometown I used to live in and the city I live
in now, for example, population, air, scene, and so on. There is something the most
different between the two. It is the fragrance.
Fragrance is closely connected with memory. This fact was discovered in the past.
It is called "Involuntary memory". It is a conception of human memory in which cues
encountered in life evoke recollections of the past without conscious effort.
Involuntary memory is a concept made famous by the writer Marcel Proust in his novel
"In Serch of Lost Time", although the idea was also developed in his earlier writings.
In this connection, It is called " Proust effect", too. For example, when you feel
the fragrance of a detergent, you probably remember that you had a good time with your
mother.
Even if I live separated from my hometown, when I feel the fragrance of the trees
from my desk or my pencil around me, the fragrance calls up the memory of hometown.
I enjoy my reminiscences of childhood. There are many memories. The impression I got
from that occasion remains vivid. Tears come to my eyes when I think of those days.
I neglected my studies and spends my time having fun. The scent of the trees wafted
itself around the playground every day.
By the way, in the city, is there no scent which recalls past life? Of course, I
can feel much fragrance there. However, the fragrance in the city, for instance,
exhaust gas or concrete, don't make a vivid impression on me. The fragrance in the
country seems to be more deeply impressed on me rather than that in the city.
Furthermore, in my opinion, The fragrance in hometown is the scent which I sniffed
in childhood. In short,that is the first experience. So this scense seemes to be
deeply engraved on my mind for a long time.
Thus, the fragrance of the trees evokes my life in childhood. It is very happy
to remember the memories in hometown. Recently,however, the trees are leveled to
make way for the land development in hometown. So when I came back to hometown before,
the scent of the trees is almost disappeared. And playground changed into a residential
area five years ago. Mountains which I would often climb in summer vacation are likely
to be destroyed to build a golf course. "What fragrance evoke your hometown ?" Maybe
you don't know how to reply when asked something like that out of the blue. I think
it is natural. But someone who is alive 100 years later may answer like this.
"The fragrance of the concrete and plastic"
お礼
Yahoo知恵袋じゃなかったので補足はできませんでした（笑）、失礼しました。 以下、質問の意図です。長文すみません。 １．Do you mind if I smoke?のIF節は、my smoking?のように所有格に置き換えられるが、そういう「置き換え可能な場合」、２つの用法上での微妙なニュアンスの違いがあるか ２．もしある場合はどのような違いか（文語的・フォーマルなど） という点でした。上記補足させて頂きます。
補足
ありがとうございます、ご回答を頂いた立場で突っ込むつもりは無いのですが、 １番目はTalkingという名詞ですし、２番目は元記事を読みましたがGivingというチャリティ分野での特殊な使われ方のようです。 また３番目はwithoutの前置詞節なので、「彼女が」を強調するには、動名詞の所有格を使うしかないですよね（置き換え表現がない）。 言葉足らずで大変申し訳なかったのですが、質問の意味として補足の方に書かせて頂きました。