英作文の添削をお願いします

質問

下書きをしたので、添削をお願いします。
伝えたい事は、以前のミーティングで決めたことに対して、社員からの要望(ランチタイム中でも社内ランチミーティング、その他有志で活動している勉強会時の会議室利用)を認めてもらえるか。についてとなります。

As we decided that the using meeting rooms would be prohibited during the lunch time due to smell of food etc., however some of employees request that they want to use for the internal lunch meeting, or the internal study meeting by volunteer,like an English conversation lunch, and a reading a book club,etc. at the lunch time.
We assme it could be approved if we make a rule like leave the room 10 min. before 1pm with a cleaning a table, chair and a floor.
Could you kindly please advise ?

回答No.1

cbm51901 · ベストアンサー

ALTHOUGH we decided TO PROHIBIT the usE OF THE meeting rooms during lunch time due to smell of food etc., some employees request that they BE ALLOWED to use THE ROOMS for internal lunch meetingS or VOLUNTARY study SESSIONS (SUCH AS an English conversation lunch OR A LUNCH TIME BOOK READING SESSION.)

We assume THE REQUEST could be approved if we SET a rule like leavING the room 10 min. before 1pm, MAKING SURE THE table, chairS and THE floor ARE CLEAN.

Could you kindly advise ?

↓

Although we decided to prohibit the use of the meeting rooms during lunch time due to smell of food etc., some employees request that they be allowed to use the rooms for internal lunch meetings or voluntary study sessions (such as an English conversation lunch or a lunch time book reading session.)

We assume the request could be approved if we set a rule like leaving the room 10 min. before 1pm, making sure the table, chairs and the floor are clean.

Could you kindly advise ?

お礼

全体的に添削していただきありがとうございました。大変助かりました。

回答No.2

DeeAnna

意味は伝わりました。ちょっとおかしいと思った所は、
ネイティブの勘で添削させて頂きます。理由聞かれても解らないのでご了承下さい。

As we have decided that using meeting rooms would be prohibited during the lunch time due to smell of food, Some of the employees request that they would like to use it for internal lunch meetings, study meetings by the volunteers,(like an English conversation lunch ) or for book club and etc.
We assume that it could be approved if we make a rule such as leave the room 10 min before 1pm with clean table, chair and floor.
Could you kindly advise?

(like an English conversation lunch )　この文の意味が不明です。
Could you kindly advise? >>> 誰かに意見を聞きたいのでしょうか？

差出人が直接承認できる方の場合、この最後の文は少しおかしいかと思います。
というか、ニュアンス的になんか使わない…。

Could you give us an advice? とか、
Please advice.
で良いと思いますよ。

お礼

ピンポイントに問題のご指摘ありがとうございます。
また全体的に意味が通じるとのコメントもありがとうございます！