英文履歴書・カバーレターの添削をお願いします。

質問

外資系の航空会社に履歴書を送ろうと思っているのですが、
英文履歴書、カバーレターを書くのが初めてで、慣れていません。
カバーレターを送りたいのですが、添削お願いいたします。

カバーレター
Dear Hiring Manager

I am writing in response to your advertisement in the employment on web site 20th of January. I would like to apply for the position of ---- and I believe that my experiences of study abroad, international activities and my curiosity of world are appropriate for this position.

My experience as an English instructor made me realized the plesure of trying to do something for someone. I learnt the importance of looking from the other person’s viewpoint and get what they really want. I strived to offer impressive experiences of speaking English to students. I also actively participate and work out projects in International Volunteer. These improve that I am suitable for such work as providing the best service to the customers.

I look foward to hearing from you soon and meet you at an interview.
Thank you for your attention to my resume.

Your faithfully,

高校時代の留学経験や、英会話講師のアルバイト経験などをアピールしたいと思っています。

回答No.1

SPS700 · ベストアンサー

Dear Hiring Manager(>Chair, Human Resources)

I am writing in response to your advertisement in the employment on web site (+on the) 20th of January. I would like to apply for the position of ---- and I believe that my experiences of study abroad, international activities and my curiosity of world are appropriate for this position.

My experience as an English instructor made me realize(-d) the plesure (> pleasure) of trying to do something for someone. I learnt(> learned) the importance of looking from the other person’s viewpoint and get what they really want. I strived to offer impressive experiences of speaking English to students. I also actively participate and work out projects in International Volunteer. These improve that I am suitable for such work as providing the best service to the customers.

I look foward (> forward) to hearing from you soon and meet you at an interview.
Thank you for your attention to my resume.

Your faithfully,

二三気づいたことを書きましたが、あまり原文を変えないように努力しました。impressive は自慢しているように誤解されるかも知れませんので、I try to convey my students how important the experience of speaking English is と言うことも可能でしょう。 Volunteer　が大文字で始まっていますが、そう言う国際機関があるなら、定冠詞をおつけになるといいと思います。いい返事が来るといいですね。