英作文の添削をお願いします（中学～高校レベル）

質問

辞書片手に英作文を行いました。つたない英語で申し訳ありませんが、以下の文において、文法的な間違いがありましたら、添削をお願いします。

In any case, I don't think suicide is all right.
Mr.A and his doctor's decision is stupid.
I know "Where there is life, there is hope".
We can do nothing without life.
Nothing is more important than life.
Suicide can release peopple from pain, but also takes away their future and joy.
How painful he was, he should try to live.
Though he had an incurable disease, it's only one of trial of his life.
In fact, there are many people have an incurable disease and try to live better.
I think A's decision was wishful thinking.
I also have an incurable disease of skin, but I've never thought suicide.
It's wrong to choose death in any case.

回答No.4

mabomk · ベストアンサー

済みません、三番です。チョット追加させて下さい。

■It is true that he has incurable disease, but it can be one
of the toughest trials in his life. In fact we see many people
suffering from similar incurable disease are trying best to
live better and best.

■■■
It is true that he has incurable disease, but it can be one of
the toughest trials in his life. In fact we see many people
suffering from similar incurable disease are trying best in
one way or another to live better.

[in one way or another]を追加しました、これはなり重要だと思いましたので追加しました、他の人(苦悩している人々)は「どうにかして」「自分達なりに」、彼には彼の悩みはあるかも知れんが、「他の人達もそれなりの悩み有り」乍らも「どうにかして」努力している、の対比も表現したかったので。

お礼

回答ありがとうございました。
細部まで丁寧に教えてくださりありがとうございます。

回答No.3

mabomk

ものすごくうまい部分と若干練り込み不足(失礼)な部分が混在していますが、流れとしては大変良いと思います。少しだけアドバイスを。
●貴原文■拙文

●I don't think suicide is all right.
■I don’t think suicide can solve all the problems you have.
原文にはないかも知れませんが、敢えてこう書きました。

●Though he had an incurable disease, it's only one of trial
of his life. In fact, there are many people have an incurable
disease and try to live better.
■It is true that he has incurable disease, but it can be one of
the toughest trials in his life. In fact we see many people
suffering from similar incurable disease are trying best to
live better and best.

チョットだけ脚色しました。 best - better and best で「一生懸命その人なりのその日をより良く、出来れば最高の日を」の雰囲気を出したつもりですが。余計だったら to live better.で。

お礼

回答ありがとうございました。
色々な表現が学ぶことができました、とてもありがたいです。

回答No.2

Milancom

おはようございます！

たいへんよくできています。内容にも感銘いたしました。より自然な英文になればと思い、気がついたところに添削をいれさせていただきました。参考にしてください。なお、わかりにくい点などありましたら、補足お願いいたします！

How painful he was, he should try to live.
⇒However painful he might have been, he should have tried to live.

Though he had an incurable disease, it's only one of trial of his life.
⇒Though he had an incurable disease, it was only one of the trials of his life.

In fact, there are many people have an incurable disease and try to live better.
⇒In fact, there are many people who have an incurable disease and try to live better.
または、
⇒In fact, there are many people with an incurable disease trying to live better.

I think A's decision was wishful thinking.
[疑問]
wishful thinkingは、「そうなったらいいのにと思っているだけで、実はならないだろうなということ」です。次のような文で使われます。
I think she rather likes me. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.（彼女僕に気があるのかな。いや、そりゃ「虫がよすぎる」というものか。）ここでは、どのような気持ちでお使いでしょうか？

I also have an incurable disease of skin, but I've never thought suicide.
⇒I also have an incurable disease of skin, but I've never thought of having suicide.

お礼

回答ありがとうございました。
とても参考になりました。
英文を丁寧に一文ずつ解説していただいたので、よく分かりました。

回答No.1

d-y

“How painful he was,”のところは、間違いではないと思いますが、私の感覚では、“How painful his life was,”のように言う方が普通だと思います。

“one of trial of his life”は、“one of the trials of his life”の方が良いと思います。

“there are many people have an incurable disease and try to live better.”は、“there are many people WHO have an incurable disease and try to live better.”としなければいけません。

“I've never thought suicide.”は、“I've never thought OF suicide.”の方が良いでしょう。

お礼

回答ありがとうございました。
正しい文法になおすことができました。