ファンレターを添削してください

質問

25年前に広島カープに在籍していた選手にファンレターを送ろうと思います。
以下に日本語を英作文しましたがこの内容でよろしいでしょうか？
また何か追加した方が良い文章がありましたらぜひお教え下さいませ。

親愛なるロードン様
私はあなたが広島カープに在籍されて以来のファンです。
あなたはいつも一生懸命プレーされていました。
あなたの努力は今も思い出に残っています。
私はあなたを通じて一生懸命にプレーすることの素晴しさを学びました。
あなたの姿勢には感動しておりました。

Dear Mr.Rowdon

I have been fan since you belonged to Hiroshima Carp.
You were always playing very hard.
I have impressived about your efforts.
I was taught about hard play is wonderful by you.
I was touched by your attitude!

sincerely

〇〇（名前) from Japan

回答No.1

marbleshit · ベストアンサー

Dear Mr.Rowdon

I have been your big fan since you were in Hiroshima Carp.
I remember you would play very hard.
And your every effort you made really impressed me.
You taught me playing hard is so wonderful.
I was always touched by your behavior.
If I could receive your reply, that would be my souvenir to Heaven, I confess.

sincerely,

〇〇（名前) of Japan

お礼

ありがとうございました！

回答No.2

felice1919

下3行のみ変えております。

I have impressived about your efforts.
→I have your memory of effort even now.

I was taught about hard play is wonderful by you.
→I learned that playing hard is wonderfol from you.

I was touched by your attitude!
→I was moved your attituede of playing!

お礼

ありがとうございました！