英作文の問題で、

質問

どなたか添削をしていただけたら、助かります。

すべて、中学レベルの英語を使い、理由を含めて３文以上で書くことが条件です。

(1)あなたが楽しんでいるもの
　I　enjoy listening to music.
When I listen to music, I feel happy.
I think music has power.

(2)あなたの好きな動物
　I like dogs the best.
This is because they are very cute.
I want to have a dog and play with it.

(3)あなたの好きな学校行事
　I like sports festival.
This is because we can help each other.
Our class helped each other, and we won.
I feel happy.

(4)あなたが次の休みの日に行きたい場所
　I want to go to my grandfather's house.
I haven't seen him for six months, so I'm sad.
When I meet him, I'll talk a lot.

以上になりますが、文法的な誤りなど、ご指摘のほどよろしくお願いいたします。

回答No.1

Him-hymn · ベストアンサー

(1)あなたが楽しんでいるもの
　I enjoy listening to music.
When I listen to music, I feel happy.
I think music has power.
一応、意味が通りますのでいいと思いますが、powerの意味が曖昧というか、とりにくいですね。
→たとえばI think music has power to make you happy.

(2)あなたの好きな動物
　I like dogs the best.
This is because they are very cute.
I want to have a dog and play with it.
これも一応意味が通ります。
ただし、play with itというのは、玩具のみたいでいやな感じがしますし、性的な意味にとられる危険さえあります。
I want to have a pet dog.　で十分です。

(3)あなたの好きな学校行事
　I like sports festival.
This is because we can help each other.
Our class helped each other, and we won.
I feel happy.
→I like our sports festival because we can help each other in many ways.
Even in our class, we helped each other. We won in many games.
I felt happy.

(4)あなたが次の休みの日に行きたい場所
　I want to go to my grandfather's house.
I haven't seen him for six months, so I'm sad.
When I meet him, I'll talk a lot.
→だいたいよいと思いますが、この場合meetはseeです。
　I want to go to my grandfather's house.
I haven't seen him for six months, so I miss him.
When I see him, I'd like to talk a lot with him.

以上、いかがでしょうか？

お礼

ご回答ありがとうございました。たくさんの質問にもかかわらず、とても丁寧で、分り易い解説をしていただき、大変参考になりました。ありがとうございました。