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(19) Thumbs down for The Story of the Eloquent Peasant. Whining, complaining peasant makes a meteoric climb from poor peasant to the pharaoh's right-hand man in this unbelievable tale of rags to riches. After the ninth time, the peasant complains to the pharaoh about all the injustices he has suffered, the reader identifies much too closely with the line "while for him who longs to see it come, death comes slowly." The reader is wishing for a crocodile to come along and swallow the peasant just to shut him up. The pharaoh must be terribly bored to enjoy the peasant's story so much that he rewards him with wealth and status. At least the peasant stopped complaining.
(20) The Egyptians loved music, so there surely would be music reviews. "When I see you my eyes shine and I press close to look at you, most beloved of men who rules my heart. Oh, the happiness of this hour, may it go on for ever!... Never leave me!" If those love-song lyrics don't get your toe tapping, how about these lyrics from a New Kingdom love song? "Oh, night, be mine forever, now that my lover has come."
(21) No magazine would be complete without a horoscope. Herodotus writes, "The Egyptians have ascertained the god to whom each month and day is sacred and they can therefore tell, according to the date of the child's birth, what fate is in store for him, how he will end his days, and what sort of person he will become." The calender had lucky days and unlucky days. The unlucky days were "days of the demons." But if you were born on the 10th day nf the 4th month of the Inundation, your destiny was to live to a ripe old age―now that's a lucky day.
That's it for this issue. Look for the next edition next millennium, when fall fashions take on a Greek look.
