夢についてのディスカッション（添削希望）

質問

お願いします
HOW OFTEN DO MOST OF YOU REMEMBER DREAMS, TALK ABOUT THEM, OR WRITE THEM DOWN?というディスカッションのタイトルがありまして以下のように書いてみました、恐れ入りますがどなたか文法を添削頂けると非常に助かります。

I have a dream once in a great while. My dreams always carry hidden messages. Therefore, when I sleep, I always put a memo beside me. Curiously enough, when I have a dream I wake up in the middle of the dream every time. So Waking up first time the morning, I dot down the memo as soon as possible and I full back to sleep. I become awake in the morning again; I take down the details about the dream from the memo. One of my impressive dreams is when I lose my direction in life, I had a dream. In the dream, I went somewhere by bicycle but I could not find it. I gave up and went back to my house. My mother was waiting for me. She said “You could not find it could you? You look very tired, but it is simple. Check your map then you will know where it is” I do not know map exact meaning but I think the dream carry hidden meaning.

回答No.2

suikaemon · ベストアンサー

I have a dream once in a great while.
-“once in a great while” 在米6年になるけどきいたことないなあ。普通はonce in a while OR occasionally ですね

Therefore, when I sleep, I always put a memo beside me.
- when I go to bedの方がいいかも
- “memo”より”a piece of paper”か”a notebook”の方が自然だと思うけど。

Curiously enough, when I have a dream I wake up in the middle of the dream every time.
-ここはhabitual actionだから現在形。I (always) wake up

So Waking up first time the morning, I dot down the memo as soon as possible and I full back to sleep.
-So right after I wake up (in the morning), I jot down the dream on the paper as soon as possible, and then I go back to sleep again.

I become awake in the morning again; I take down the details about the dream from the memo.
- When I wake up again, I write down the details of the dream based on the memo.

One of my impressive dreams is when I lose my direction in life, I had a dream. In the dream, I went somewhere by bicycle but I could not find it.
-うーん、ここは何をいいたいのかちょっと分かりづらいね。
-まず、impressive dreamsは印象的な夢っていいたいんだね。うーん、でもこのimpressiveはadmirableって意味になっちゃうと思う。困ったな、俺だったらvivid を使うか、ちょっとwordyだけど、one of the dreams that has been stuck on my head/ has been etched on my memoryとかかな。
- I lost my way/got lost in the dream (夢の中で迷子になった)
- I got lost in life. (なんか人生どうしたらいいかわかんなくなった感じ)
- この“it”は何を指すの？the destination?

She said “You could not find it could you? You look very tired, but it is simple.
- 細かいけどfind it, could you? コンマね。

I do not know map exact meaning but I think the dream carry hidden meaning.
- I do not know exactly what the map stands for/represents.
- that dream carries 三人称単数
- a hidden meaningだと思うけど。

あなたのbackgroundを知りませんが、結構うまくかけていると思いますよ。この調子でがんばればのびますよきっと。

以下は私のsampleです。できるだけ原文に近い感じで書いたつもりです。
I have a dream [or I dream] once in a while. For some reason, my dreams always seem to carry hidden messages. In order jot down the dreams, I put a piece of paper next to my bed. Curiously enough, every time I have a dream, I always wake up in the middle of it. So right after I wake up, I jot down the dream on the paper as soon as possible, and then I go back to sleep again. Later, I wake up again and add some details of the dream to the previous memo. One of the dreams that has been etched on my memory is that I lost my way in the dream. I was going somewhere by bicycle but could not find the place I was going. Eventually, I gave up and went back to my house. To my surprise, my mother was waiting for me. She said, “You couldn’t find it, could you? You look very tired. It’s actually quite simple. Just check your map and you’ll know where it is.” I do not know exactly what the map stands for, but I believe that it means something. I believe my dreams carry hidden messages.

お礼

大変丁寧に回答いただき助かりました！！
impressiveの認識は変えないといけないと思いました
また是非機会がありましたらよろしくお願いします

回答No.1

noname#111034

半日ほったらかしですか。こういう質問を選んで高邁なボランティア活動を実践している者です　笑。でも英文法は何ら高邁ではありません。午前の仕事が早めに片づいたので，いっちょうやりましょう。

プロファイルを拝見すると通信教育を受けておられる主婦の方のようで，これは授業中に口頭で述べるための台本ではないですよね？　メール添付などの方法で（エッセイとして）提出するんですよね？　そのつもりで文章をかなり書き換えます。

I have a dream in many nights, which seems to carry hidden messages for me.

To test this theory, I make it custom and practice to prepare a notebook beside me in the bed.

Curiously enough, I wake up in the middle of my dream in every case.

Then I used to write down its story on the notebook as soon as possible, and I sleep again.
（この箇所の前半の原文は，何がいいたいのかわかりません）

When I wake up in the morning, I read the details of the dream from the notebook.

One of my impressive dreams was noted when I lost my way in my life.

In the dream, I was going to somewhere by bicycle, only to find I could not remember the way to destination.

I gave up my trip and went back to my house, where my mother was waiting for my return.

She said, "See, you could not find it, could you? You look very tired. The solution is quite simple. Check your map, and you will know where it is."

＞I do not know map exact meaning but I think the dream carry hidden meaning　ここは論理的につじつまが合わないような気がします。そこで，
I thought my mother's "checking the map" meant xxxxx in this real world, and I found my way of life successfully. Thus I believe my dreams carry hidden messages for me.

ご参考までに。

お礼

大変丁寧に教えて頂きありがとうございました
ちなみに僕は男です（汗）
また是非機会がありましたらよろしくお願いします