英語添削お願いします。（TOEFL-IBT）
文法など至らない点が多く申し訳ありませんが、よろしくお願いします。
問：What do you think is the best parents?
解答：
Children can’t choose their parents. In my case, I’m proud of my parents and I think I’m happy to be their child. What makes parents the best one depends on some reasons.
I’ll explain them one by one.
First, the best parents must have the ability to wait and see. To think of myself, it is natural that children can’t deal with the problem well at first. And in many cases, if they have enough time to try it again and again, they will surely make it. However, if their parents make them stop tackling the problem and help them, children will fail to accomplish their goals and lose their confidence. For example, when I was in my elementary school, my teacher gave me a lot of homework. I tried so hard to do it, but sometimes it was too difficult for me. I begged my mother for some help, but she refused it and said that she believed me that I could do it by myself. I didn’t understand what she said, and I felt she was not the best mother. Anyway, finally I did it and I was so proud of myself and felt I could do everything from now on. However, if my mother helped me at that time, I just finished my homework without getting confidence.
Second, the best parents will give many experience to their children, for example, sports, traveling, and working. This is because what children have learned in their childhood will give them many choices of the future plans. If a father plays baseball with his boy, it can happen that the boy wishes he will be a baseball player. For example, my parents gave me the great experience with dogs and now I became a veterinary student. So, it is very important that the parents make their children experience many things to make their future shine.
To sum up, the best parents should know children don’t belong to them. By thinking this way, they can wait and see how their children are doing, and do the best things in order to make their future soundful.
お礼
こんばんは 日本では子供が亡くなってから虐待が判明したとか、体に痣があって、うすうす学校などで気付いてたけど、自体が手遅れになって発見されることをよく耳にします。日本はいつも発見されるのは遅いと思います。動き出すのが遅いというか。 私の友達は、アメリカにベビーシッターで行くといってました。 日本では、平気で車に子供をおいて親はパチンコ、スロットに行ってますね。最近というか、店内で親子連れをよくみます。張り紙には１８才未満はおことわりとなってるんですが。 車で事故があるより、店内で一緒にいさせた方がいいということなんですかね。しかしながらどうみても、うまれて数ヶ月しか経ってない細胞分裂さかんな時期の赤ちゃんをかかえてやってる人をみるとちょっとーと思います。音は煩い、空気は最悪。 子供だけで放置でも犯罪なんですか！ 日本だったらほとんどの親が犯罪になってそうですね。 しかしながらベビーシッターが虐待してる時ありますね。ＴＶでみたことあります。 回答ありがとうございました