添削おねがいします

質問

When I wrote this paper, I saw things such as advantage of study abroad and college from a different perspective. It made me expand my thinking.

「このペーパーを書くにあたり、様々な視点から留学や大学に行くことの利点を見た。そうすることにより、わたしはさらに考えを広げることができた。」

こちらの英文の添削をおねがいします。

回答No.1

cbm51901 · ベストアンサー

*1. When I wrote this paper → On writing this paper
*2. I saw things such as advantage → I looked at the advantages
*3. of study abroad and college → of studying abroad and of attending college
*4. from a different perspective → from different perspectives
*5. It made me expand my thinking. → Doing so helped me further expand my viewpoint.

⇒ On writing this paper, I looked at the advantages of studying abroad and of attending college, from different perspectives. Doing so helped me further expand my viewpoint.
このペーパーを書くにあたり、私は様々な視点から留学や大学に行くことの利点を検討した。そうすることにより、私はさらに自分の考えを広げることができた。

回答No.2

double_triode

In this paper I examined the advantage of studying abroad or studying at university from various viewpoints. This experience deepened my thought.