どなたか超初級エッセイにアドバイスをください。
ずっと和文英訳の練習をしていたのですが、エッセイの練習に移行しようと決めました。
初めてのエッセイで読んでいただくのも恥ずかしいレベルです。
文法の間違いもあると思いますが、できれば構成面で気が付いたことがあればご指導ください。
どうぞよろしくお願いします。
Do computer games harm the development of children?
I believe that computer games harm the development of children for the following three reasons.
The primary reason is that playing computer games cause disease. For example, children tend to keep watching a computer screen without taking a rest. Therefore their eye sight gets worse.
The second reason is that children cannot develop their communication abilities so long as they are just playing games.
During the game they don’t have to either talk or make themselves understood. Communication needs someone to talk with.
The third reason is that children can easily be addicted to computer games. Once they begin to play games, it is hard for them to quit. They get so absorbed in a game that they never notice the time and keep playing. In addition, they don’t feel like doing other things which they actually have to do. Computer games have power over children’s daily lives.
For the reasons above, I believe that computer games harm the development of children.
お礼
そのような表現があるのですね。 ありがとうございました。