大学受験対策の英作文の添削をお願いします。

質問

問題文

「写真は実際にあった、ある瞬間を記録したものです。

まだ見たことのない風景や人びとの生活の場につれていってくれます。

古いアルバムを開け、祖父母といっしょに写っている写真にもぐり込むと、子供のころに戻って祖父母の声が聞こえてきます。」

Pictures record moments which really happened.

They lead you scenery and places, where people live, that you have never seen.

If you open an old album and get absorbed in a picture where your grand parents and you are, you go back in childhood and hear their voice.

模範解答は手元にあるので、不適切な部分を添削していただく、という形でお願いします。

では、よろしくお願いします^^

回答No.1

Kotoisfun · ベストアンサー

Pictures record moments which really happened.
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Pictures are records of a moment which actually happened in a place.

They lead you scenery and places, where people live, that you have never seen.
==>
They take us to scenery which we have never seen before, and to our living places.

If you open an old album and get absorbed in a picture where your grand parents and you are, you go back in childhood and hear their voice.
==>
When we open an old album and have a look into the picture taken with our grandparents, we can go back to our childhood to hear their voices.

お礼

添削ありがとうございました^^