英作文 添削2

質問

添削をお願いします

He said competitive events should be abolished on this sports day.
He thinks it's important to tell the students about the necessity cooperating each other
rather than concerning the result.
So they should do events whithout winning and losing, like dance or something.

On the other hand, she said it's good there is competitive essentials to some extent,
which stimulate the students.

回答No.1

seegrammar · ベストアンサー

わたくしなら

He said competitive events should be abolished on this sports day.
He thinks it's important to tell the students about the necessity of cooperating each other
rather than concerning about the results. (or 'competing against each other)
So they should do events whithout winning and losing, like dance or something.

On the other hand, she says there are some good features in doing sports competitively to some extent, which might help students live stronger in good meaning.

お礼

ご回答ありがとうございます
necessity に of を使うのは大事そうです。
最後の文章も良いですね。参考にさせていただきます

回答No.2

ocanada

He says competitive events should be abolished on this sports day. He thinks it's important to teach the students the necessity of cooperating with each other rather than concerning themselves about the result and that they should be participating in events that have no winners or losers like dances.

On the other hand, she says playing competitive sports plays an important role, as it can motivate students.

お礼

ご回答ありがとうございます
私が書いた表現と異なるので、どういう違いなのか比べてみます
参考になりました