エッセイ（添削希望）
お願いします
Do you think there are fewer stigmas against people with psychological disorders than in the past? Among whom? Why?
に対するエッセイを以下の通り書きました。ご面倒ですがどなたか文法を添削頂けると助かります。
また文中にwhy?と入れてみたのですがAccademicなエッセイに挿入するにはふさわしくないでしょうか？
Although there were biases against people with psychological disorders in the past decade or so in Japan, nowadays almost all Japanese understand what psychological disorder is. If people know someone he or she suffer psychological impairment, people would devote the fullest energies to help them. Almost all Japanese are cooperative manner. Why? I can think of two reasons. First, we can know what the heart problem is or how should we deal with it by TV, book and radio. Japanese government tries hard to keep everyone informed about disorders. Second, In Japan, over 30000 people are killed by themselves every year. This disorder is one of major risk factor for suicide. For these reasons, almost all Japanese understand and try to help them.
