この英作文で文法ミスなど校訂してくれる人いますか？

質問

現在独学で英語を学んでいます。そこで今回自分でアメリカと日本の文化の違いやどのようにして、文化の違いを克服するかをエッセーにしてみました。特にどこかに見せる訳ではないのですが、塾などに行くお金がないのでだれにも文法ミスなどチェックしてもらう人はいません。そこでよろしければ校訂していただけないでしょうか？？

The first thing that I learned from my experience in the United State is accepting different culture. There are a lot of different culture between in the United State and Japan. It is extremely important for me to overcome a cultural difference, but I need to take pride in Japanese culture too. For example, American is individualism, but Japanese is collectivism. American people do not hesitate eating out alone at restaurant; however, Japanese do because they do not want to eat under someone's lonely eyes. Surprisingly, some Japanese students eat a lunch inside of restroom stall because they want to make sure nobody finds out. They do not want to give a mistaken impression of not having any friends at school. However, American usually does not care about what other people think about you. Also, there are a lot of people who eat alone at dining room of Santa Rosa Junior College. Now I do not care about eating alone at all. The second different cultural experience is social system. It is very common in Japan that you supposed to pay respect and be polite to whoever is older than you. However, American is not strict to be polite. For instance, when I talk with my instructor, I always try to be formal. If I meet my instructor in outside of the class, I bow to the instructor first and talk him or her formally. However, in the United State, students call the instructors by their first name like a friend. One day, I was walking with my classmate on campus, and we met our instructor. I was going to bow to him, but the instructor waved his hand to us and my classmate also did it to the instructor. I was surprised at what my classmate did to him because it is a kind of rude to wave hand to our instructor in Japan. In my opinion, this American culture is a good because Japanese social system is sometimes extremely annoying. I always have to pay respect to whoever they are older than me. In japan, older people are absolute. You have to pay respect to older people even a year older than you. Therefore, you cannot against your supervisor. Even if your supervisor is less ability than you, you have to respect and talk formally to him or her. However, in the united state, you can be in a high position instead of older coworkers because people make a valuation according to your ability.

回答No.3

yuuumooot · ベストアンサー

前のかたのご回答で、後半に部分的に直されていない所がありましたので、一応。

If I meet my instructor in outside of the class, I bow to the instructor first and talk him or her formally.
→If I meet my instructor outside of the class, I bow to the instructor first and talk to him or her formally/ politely.

it is a kind of rude to wave hand to our instructor in Japan. I
→.......wave our hand(s)/ wave one's hand

Therefore, you cannot against your supervisor.
→.... cannot act against...

Even if your supervisor is less ability than you,
→ ...is less able...
....has less ability..

However, in the united state, you...
→　In the United States, however,you....

回答No.2

Willyt

中学・高校の６年間、予習復習を欠かさずやっただけです。その後大学を出てから数年英国に滞在する機会がありました。６年間やっただけの英語がちゃんと通用するのにびっくりしましたよ。毎日欠かさず勉強を続けることです。継続は力ですよ。

回答No.1

Willyt

The first thing that I learned from my experience in the United State is accepting difference of culture.

異なる文化を容認するのではなく、文化の違いを容認することでしょう。貴方がアメリカの文化をそのまま受け入れるということではない筈です。

There are large difference in culture between the United State and Japan.

defference は勘定できません。

It is extremely important for me to accept the cultural difference, and at the same time to take pride in Japanese culture.
貴方が主張したいことが文化の違いを打ち負かすというのは変です。言いたいことはアメリカ文化あを認めつつも日本文化を守り続けるということでしょう。

American people do not hesitate to have foods alone at a restaurant; Japanese however, do not want to do so with all eyes fixed on one.

　hesitate to または hesitate in ～ing です。　衆人環視は上記のように表現します。

Surprisingly, some of Japanese students have their lunches inside of restroom stalls because they want to make sure nobody watches him.
日本人学生のうちの一部です。

They do not want to give their friends an impression of not having making a failure at school. American, however, usually does not care about what other people think about him

mistake は元来取り違えという意味です。

Also, there are a lot of people who eat alone at dining room of Santa Rosa Junior College. Now I do not care about eating alone at all.

何のためにこの文がここに出て来たのかが分りません。突然過ぎます。たぶんアメリカ文化に貴方が同化できたことが書かれているのでしょうが、文脈から浮いてしまっています。

The second thing I realized about difference in culture is one in social system.

異種文化ではありません。文化の違いです。

It is very common in Japan that you pay respect and are polite to whoever older than you. American, however, is not strict to be polite.
細かい文法エラー however は一般に文頭には来ない。

以下は細かいエラーはあるもののほぼＯＫ　但し結語がなく、尻切れとんぼの感あり　アイデンティティを守りたいと前段でのべながら、例として挙げた年上に敬意を払うことには否定的というのは矛盾があるか、または例としては不適当なのでは？
結局貴方は日本文化を否定し、アメリカ文化を是としているじゃないかと言われたらどうしますか？　長幼の序は欠点ばかりではなく、それが日本や中国、朝鮮では尊重されて来たのにはそれなりの長所があるからではありませんか？　それを論じないと何を言っているのだということになります。以下は目ぼしいところは修正してあります。

For instance, when I talk with my instructor, I always try to be formal. If I meet my instructor outside of the class, I bow to the instructor first and talk him or her formally.

However, 　In the United State , however students, call the instructor by their first name like a friend. One day, I was walking with my classmate on campus, and we met our instructor. I was going to bow to him, but the instructor waved his hand to us and my classmate also did it to the instructor. I was surprised at what a classmate of mine did to him because it is a kind of rude manner to wave hand to our instructor in Japan. In my opinion, this American culture is good because Japanese social system is sometimes extremely annoying. I always have to pay respect to whoever they are older than me. In japan, older people are implicitly honorable. You have to pay respect to older people even only a year older than you. Therefore, you cannot move against your supervisor. Even if your supervisor is less ability than you, you have to respect and talk formally to him or her. However, in the United State, you can be in a high position instead of older coworkers when people make a superior valuation of your ability to them.

お礼

ありがとうございます。どのようにして英語の勉強をしたのですか？？