英作文の添削お願いします
ある読み物を読んで、、"Susan(主人公)"がある"community colledge"に行くべきか、ある"university"に行くべきあなたの意見を書きなさいという課題に対して、僕は下のように英作文を書きました。 読み物の内容も書いておきます。まず、第1パラグラフは、"Susan(主人公)"が、ある"community colledge"に行くべきか、ある"university"に行くべきかを迷っているという内容でした。第2パラグラフには、その"community colledge"がどんな所かという説明、第3パラグラフは、"university"の説明という感じです。
下の英作文に関しては、特に、第3パラグラフのShe can extend her knowledge in a variety of fields as well as her major field. She can get opportunities to listen to lectures which great professors give.の２つのcanの使い方に自信がありません。
添削の作業は本当に面倒なことだと思いますが、お時間があれば、よろしくお願いします。
It is true that the nearby community college can offer a flexible class schedule is better to adjust to Susan’s new role as a student, but I recommend that she should enter the university in her city.
The degree in business at the university stresses executive management. The business majors can participate in an internship program with a local business. Once we have got a job, it is difficult to work in other company. It will be a valuable experience especially for her to participate in the internship program.
Also, the university grants academic degrees in a variety of subjects. Each class is taught by well-respected professors. She can extend her knowledge in a variety of fields as well as her major field. She can get opportunities to listen to lectures which great professors give. Sometimes their lecture will make a deep impression on her.
Both of experience and knowledge which she will have acquired at this university will help her rise in the business world. If she can graduate from this university, she will be able to get the degree to be a direct route to career advancement.
お礼
詳しい解説ありがとうございました。 後日彼に送信したところ大変喜ばれました。どうもありがとうございました。