自由英作文のお願い

質問

自由英作文のお願い　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　条件・日本において成人は１８歳からにすべきだ。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　I do not agree with this statement that the age of adulthood in Japan should be 18, as in many other countries. I have a reason why I think so. I think that it is too young for teenager to have many responsibilities as an adult and teenager should learn varyous things. Needless to say, as they grow older, they need to have more responsibilities as an adult, so i think that this would make it possible for them to concentrate on studying. It may be too much to say that the longer you learn, the more you will be a good person. Thus, what is important is that teenager should concentrate on studying and hoe we consider them seriously.

回答No.1

Him-hymn · ベストアンサー

自由英作文のお願いでは、何をお願いしているのかわかりません。
添削だと解釈して回答いたします。

★I do not agree with this statement that the age of adulthood in Japan should be 18, as in many other countries. I have a reason why I think so.
ここまではいいと思います。

★I think that it is too young for teenager to have many responsibilities as an adult and teenager should learn varyous things.
→I think that it is too early for teenagers to have many responsibilities as adults, and teenagers should learn various things. varyous → various
私ならこのようにします。
I think it is too early for teenagers to bear so much responsibility as adults. They are still learning many things to be adults.
（so much responsibilityはso many responsibilitiesも可）

★Needless to say, as they grow older, they need to have more responsibilities as an adult, so i think that this would make it possible for them to concentrate on studying.
→Needless to say, as they grow older, they need to have full responsibility as adults, so I think that this would make it possible for them to concentrate on thier studies.

★It may be too much to say that the longer you learn, the more you will be a good person. Thus, what is important is that teenager should concentrate on studying and hoe we consider them seriously.

→It may be too much to say that the longer you learn, the more you will be a good person. Thus, what is important is that teenagers should concentrate on their studies. We should consider this point seriously.
hoeって何ですか？わからないので適当に処理しました。